Sunday, 17 November 2019

Memories from Toni&Guy


The beautiful thing about memories is that they reimind us how things from the past were. When those memories are good or happy, sometimes we are embraced by a sense of nostalgia - which is nice.

I worked for Toni&Guy Ireland for nearly 7 years. I started in Essensuals on South Anne Street which eventually moved to South Williams Street. Essensuals was part of Toni&Guy. Then I moved to Toni&Guy Clarendon street and from there I moved to Toni&Guy Sandymount. Both essensuals and T&G Sandymount don't exist anynmore.

Honestly, I don't miss the job or the company, however I do miss some people and I do miss some clients too.

I built up good relationships with some staff members. People who I established a great connection with, with some of them even a frienship. People who I had great conversations with; great banter and great interactions with. Yes I do miss that and same way I do miss them.

I also miss some clients. I established a good relationship with some clients. Relationships I have good memories about and I still sometimes think about - for all the good reasons.

It is amazing how people from work become part of our lives. I particularly love it because I love working with and for people.

I am someone who is always tryign to find the way  to have a good interaction with the people I spend time with, because I think it is important. That's why I keep positive so that I can be a good influence on them. I try to be humorous. Life is too short to be so serious all the time. In other words, I try to find ways to get on with the people I surrounded by.

In some ways I think it has paId off because I was once awarded a Champagne award in recognition of Having the MOST sparkling personality. And oh boy I loved my prize because, in a way, I was a prize I received for just being true to who I am and project that my every day human interactions which, of course, includes work.

I take this opportunity to send a BIG MASSIVE hello to everybody in Toni&Guy Ireland. I miss you guys. I really do. I won't mention names because you know who you are.

I send you my love full of nostalgia.

Marlon/Marlife

Monday, 28 October 2019

My Opinion on Greta Thunberg



This is one those instances where I thought about and gave some consideration to what I have to say. In order to have a well-informed opinion, I did some research. I also spoke to a couple people who I consider quite well-informed and liberated from their own insecurities. I even did some internal reflection in order to have a more or less depurated opinion from my own bias. Basically, I am trying to embrace the topic with an open mind.

Greta Thunberg

I don't need to say who she is or where she is from or what she stands for. Because she has received so much coverage - both off and online - to the extend that she has become a phenomenon whether we like it or not.

Of course, I have followed her movement. She has been able to inspire and motivate people  to be mindful and conscious about the planet: Our global home. Her message has been so crucial to the extent that "Across the world, millions gather biggest climate protest ever".

She has been the front page of multiple newspapers. She has inspired young and not so young. She has created a momentum that seems to still be alive and will be alive for a long long time. She is inspiring the young generation to start making a change.

It is very important to outline that the cause Greta represents "Global Climate Change" has been scientifically proven. You can visit https://climate.nasa.gov/evidence/ for more rigorous information. This is not something she "invented" for the sake of it to attract attention. It is a real problem and part of the agenda of most countries around the world.

Greta presented her concerns to the United Nations. In a powerful speech, she told dignitaries "You have stolen my dreams and my childhood". History will remember her for this statement.

We can firmly say she has science on her side. She has David Attenborough backing her "Outrage is justified".

As we can see, Greta Thunberg, a such a young age, has achieved a lot, in the name of protecting the planet. I applaud and repect her for what she represents and stands for. However, I must mention she has also achieved triggering in some people hate, rancour, resentment and bullying traits which are alarming signals of not having emotional intelligence whatsoever at all.

Before I continue, I must share this reflection with you...

The day I realise a child (or an adult - some people argue that she is not a child because she is 16) ignites in me a feeling of discomfort, or dislike, or hate, or rancour, or resentment, that very same day I will realise I am not an emotional intelligent person at all. Why? Because if we are very self-aware of who we are; if you we have a very healthy self-esteem, nobody - not even someone who is 16 - will ever awaken in us unwanted feelings. Feelings that say more about us than the person who has triggered them in us.

Our own childhood or our own experiences growing up

There are a couple of questions we should ask ourselves when it comes to holding incandescent rage towards a child or a person in general.

Should we despise Greta, the person, or what she represents, the cause? This is if we are in denial of climate change.

Because of  her worldwide outreach, is Greta reminding us how limited our childhood was when expressing ourselves due to having parents who would truncate in us our desires to express our dreams, concerns and most trivial wants?

Why do we have to see  her as an adult in order to make space for our resentful feelings?

Are we jealous of her incredible achievements even though she has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome? And we with our full faculties are caught up in our own walling?

Is Greta making us easy to "hate" or "dislike" her as a way of projecting the dislike we hold for ourselves?

Is she reminding us all that if we are unable to separate the person from the cause, we are just revealing how unable we are to separate what we like and don't like about ourselves, and concentrate on what we like about us in order to keep going?

The questions are endless, but this is the one we should seriously ask ourselves...Why, why is somebody making us feel like that? Why? Look deep inside you, and you will find the answer. And remember, whatever the answer might be, the world will never be a safe place if you are riddled and conducted by your own insecurities.

It is not what is our there, but the way we perceive it...

Thanks for reading...

Marlon/Marlife





Sunday, 20 October 2019

I am grateful & feel blessed


Due to the reaction this post received on my Facebook, I have to reshare it with my #marlife's audience : )

It was Sunday morning and I was wide awake so I got inspired and wrote:

Here I am wide awake and reflecting on how blessed and grateful I am. I am grateful to have made it this far in life and I am healthy.
I am blessed to have the love of my life: John who I am still blissfully in love with. When I am in work I can’t wait to get home to him. We have a roof over our head and food on our table and wine, too. We have and love Sammy.
I feel grateful when people show me love and express how I have positively affected them.
Ironically, I am also grateful to know some people don’t like me because it makes me realise I don’t rely on their appreciation to be a happy person, at all actually.
More importantly, I am very blessed to have the Mother I had who adored me dearly. She is the reason why I am such a wonderful person.
So yes, I am grateful and a very blessed human being. Happy Sunday everyone : )

Marlon/Marlife

Marlon/Marlife


Sunday, 6 October 2019

The Story Of Us published on GCN



Making a marriage work takes work. A relationship is also a partnership -  the beginning of thinking of yourselves as a member of a team team, not two separate individuals. Two long term married couples reveal to /Peter Dunne/ that, like anything else, the more you put into a marriage, the more you get back.
Photos provided by the couples. 

For Marlon Jimenez-Compton (he jokes by pronouncing the ‘double barrel’ as he says his second names) the love of a good dance almost got in the way of the love of a good man.
15 years ago in 2004, on a night out with friends, Marlon spotted John Compton across the dance floor in The George. There were immediate sparks. Not shy in the slightest, Marlon made a beeline for John and the pair got to chatting. Proving to be no shrinking violet himself, John asked if Marlon would like to leave with him. “And I said ‘no’ because I wanted to dance.

 So I went back to my friends, and my friends asked me ‘what happened?! Why did you walk away from him!? And I said, ‘he’s going home. And I want to dance.’”
That was almost that, but about a month later, the pair spotted each other on the online dating site Gaydar. They continued chatting, until, as Marlon shared, “On July 15, he invited me to his house for dinner.” Marlon remembers the date clearly, as “the next day was my birthday, July 16.” Clearly the dinner went well, as Marlon followed, “So now we celebrate both my birthday and our wedding anniversary, because we celebrated our civil partnership on July 15, 2011.”

Anyone who ever meets Marlon will learn two things very quickly – firstly how much he absolutely adores his husband John, and secondly, he really //really// believes being married is the best thing ever. Suffice to say, it was no shock when Marlon revealed it was him who had popped the question. They were in a restaurant called The Angler's Rest in Strawberry Beds. It had just been refurbished and John commented it would be a great spot for a wedding. Marlon replied, “so why don't we get married?” 
This was in the month of November. When civil partnership became available in January the following year, the couple where quick to take advantage, celebrating their ceremony that July. That wasn't the end though. When the equal marriage referendum made grá the law, the couple once again made their vows to each other.

So why is marriage so important to them?

Being practical for a moment, Marlon lists the important legal rights that come with being married, but follows “When we actually got married, I felt that there was a rebirth of the love. I felt a sense that we actually belong to each other now.” 

Marlon stresses something he believes is necessary before someone considers marriage - “You have to love yourself first. I know it's a cliché, but if you are unable to love yourself, you will not be able to love anybody else. Also, maintain your independence – not in a selfish way, but in the way that you have to be self aware – you are your own person, your partner is their own person. If you have that in mind you will be able to separate yourself from situations that you need to separate yourself from.”

So, is there one universal secret to a successful marriage? “Every marriage is different. Whatever is working in our marriage won't necessarily work in somebody else's marriage. Trust is important. Love. Respect. Communication is huge, in a marriage or even in any relationship.” 

Marlon offers the heartfelt advice - “Do not compare your union with somebody else's. Your union is yours. Enjoy how special it is. Enjoy how unique it is.”
15 years together obviously means 15 anniversaries. Is there any one in particular that stood out? “I think the fifth year was important. I remember going out to dinner and it struck me 'Wow, we made it this far.'” 

“We married twice. And here we are, 15 years later, we have a house, a dog and 11 fish.” 
The couple share a terrific sense of humour, and to anyone who sees them it is clear they truly enjoy each other’s company. Best of all, Marlon didn’t make have to make a choice - after all these years together, there’s still a lot of dancing, although most of it takes place in the kitchen rather than The George. 

Thank you to Peter Dunne, our editor, for such a great piece. 

Marlon/Marlife

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

Marlon’s catharsis over Trump

                          




Hey guys,

I am one of those who believes that when they feel something is bothering them, they must try to find the way to release those negative feelings.

So this video is my way to get rid of the negative feelings Donald Trump ignates in me hehehe - I hope you enjoy it or at least try to understand my catharsis' method.

Cheers

Marlon/Marlife

Thursday, 12 September 2019

When you get to talk about Marriage/Relationship


I was asked to participate in a project to talk about marriages/relationships. For a few seconds I thought about saying "No" because I don't consider myself an expert in the topic, but then I instantly said to myself "Hang on a second, you have been with the same person for 15 years and married to him for a while, so you might have one or two things to say about marriage/relationship". So I said "Yes". The project will be out quite soon.

As I don't know how the project is going to turn out based on what I genuienly said, I won't say what I exactly said, but I am going to share a few bullet points I took from my own reflection after the interview.

I do believe that in order to be able to love somebody, we must be able to love ourselves. What does this mean? It means to be self-aware of who we are. To accept ourselves as a whole and that includes not "liking" our imperfections.

When we truly love ourselves, we are not jealous of others, we don't envy others because we are so busy with ourselves that there is not time to look outwards, but inwards.

As a result...

We are going to able to love and accept our other half - even with their "imperfections". However, that acceptance should not be in detriment of who we are and how we feel. In other words, if somebody truly loves us, they will elevate us in a healthy way. When I say "healthy" I mean that they will never try to bring you down. EVER.

And this is why...

Chosing our partner speaks volumes of who we are. It says more about us (choice) than the partner themselves. This is why we should be careful when we complain to other people about our choice, that complain is a very poor projection of whowe are when it comes to our choices in life. Instead of complaining, why don't ask ourselves how can we together (as a couple) work this through? It is not easy, it is very challenging indeed but only you know your own relationship.

Which brings me to...

Stop compering your relationship to somebody elses'. We must make our relationship unique, special and relevant. Whatever works for you, works for you. It does not necesarly mean is going to work for somebody else. We should be busy investing in our own relationship rather than paying attention to others'. What is yours is yours so we should make it work if is worth it to do so.

Do not listen....

If as a couple you have an issue and REALLY need advice, do not go to someone who is single, or someone who is divorced or someone who can not sustain a relation or someone who is or has all of the above. If you need advice or need to talk to someone, try to chose wisely who to talk to, maybe talk to a professional, otherwise you are going to feel or end up worse. How can we get advise from someone who has not succeded in something we might be trying to succed to make it work?

Some key elements...

Communication is a massive element: We should be able to tell someone "I don't like that behaviour" or "I don't like what you said", in this way we are pointing out the "behaviour" or what it was "said" not the person because we still love them. Mind you, this one is VERY hard and it is still taking me forever to fully grasp it myself, because it is fucking hard.


Sex...

When it comes to sex, again, this is something that only you to should try to form and agree on. Sex is a very large spectrum that includes whatever you two have decided what it is. We, as a couple, should find whatever works for us, just us. When you have such a healthy view, you will understand that sex (whatever that is) is only one aspect of your relationship, not the relationship in itself. If you find whatever works for you, enjoy it for what it is.

Now it comes the romance...

Love is not perfect, but it is a powerful thing. Love is key to a successful realtionship. We should think of how much we love ourselves, in that way we should know how  able we are to love the person we have choshen as our other half.

If we love ourselves, we will understand love is good. Love keeps us alive. Love is the real reason why we are able to love others.

Cheers to love forever...

Marlon/Marlife







Sunday, 25 August 2019

Affecting your Mental Health: Bullshit or True?



It took me a lot of thinking and a couple of conversations with some people I consider strong, intelligent, open-minded and more importantly not jealous of others, to write this blog. Even though this is my own opinion, I wanted to support it well so I did my research and found some facts. And more importantly, I put all kind of emotions aside not to sound "too personal".

My research has raised in my mind a few questions.

As you might know, in the name of "protecting" your mental health, recently Instagram decided to carry out a test in 7 countries ONLY to hide the amount of likes posts receive. I wonder why is it just a test and also why is it only in 7 countries when according to the World Health Organization, mental health is a world wide problem?





What is the definition of Mental Health?

"It is defined as a stable of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community" WHO

So by knowing the definition we can have a clear idea of what mental illness or disorders are.

If we are not emotionally stable, that instability can be easily triggered regardless the platform we might be on online. When I use the word "triggered" is because the condition already exists.

A study conducted by The Royal Society for Public Health, called #StatusOfMind, has indicated that Instagram is the worst social media platform for young people's mental health. Facebook also is part of the list, and what I find interesting is that Instagram is part of Facebook, so why don't they hide the likes on Facebook too to protect your mental health?

Without trying to be sarcastic, I woudl like to ask this: If we are "concerned" and would like to "help" an alcoholic, would you advise them to drink beer rather than wine, as beer has less alcohol volume? Or would you advice a drug addict to take class B drugs than A?

What might be truth behind it - Business?

According to my research, globally there are 25 million  Instagram business accounts, however, only 2 million are advertising on the platform. This is a very low number in comparison to businesses advertsing on Facebook. So we can argue that the real idea behind "protecting" your mental health can be to encourage small businesses to advertise more.

Let's put it this way, who wants to go to a restaurant that has few likes on Instagram and doesn't sound popular? Or who wants to go to a disco that has cero or very little likes or who wants to click on an ad that has zero likes?

A bigger revelation: Mobile vs Laptops/Desktops

It is not a secret that mobile advertising is massive. We spend more time on our phone than on our laptops/desktops. A recent study found that on average, we spend 3 hours and 15 minutes - if not more - a day on our phones.

Instagram "good intentions" to protect your mental health by hiding the Likes is only on our mobile devices and not on our laptops/desktops - which I find AGAIN very interesting.

As you can see in the below screenshots, I can not see how many likes my latest post received on my mobile, however on my laptop is very visible it has received 27 little hearts (likes).

                                                            On my mobile






On my laptop



Love who you are and appeciate what you have


I consider myself a person who lives life with a very open mind. I am not and will never be negatively affected by the way people conduct themselves in life and this involves social media. However, my open mind tells me that not everybody is like me, and it is totally true. But if I can influence people positively because of the way I am, I am happy to do so.

I am very comfortable in my own skin. I have a very healthy view of who I am and what I have - which is the reason why I am not jealous or envious of other people, at all actually.

There are reasons for people to be who they are, or to look the way they do, or to have what they have, but those reasons do not have to do anything with you.

Do not compare yourself with anybody else. Be your own self. Be authentic and unique by using the space you have on earth. By looking for your real truth inwards not outwards. There is nobody like you, and you should appreciate that.

If you really get affected by how people conduct themselves online, stop, take a moment to think and reflect and ask yourself why, why am I allowing them to make me feel this way? Believe me, the answers might create wonders in you.

Lastly, try to enjoy being on social media regardless the amount of likes you might get. Remember you should value yourself more than having a little heart (like) given on Instagram.

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it the same way I enjoyed writing it.

Marlon/Marlife


Image source