Sunday, 20 October 2019

I am grateful & feel blessed


Due to the reaction this post received on my Facebook, I have to reshare it with my #marlife's audience : )

It was Sunday morning and I was wide awake so I got inspired and wrote:

Here I am wide awake and reflecting on how blessed and grateful I am. I am grateful to have made it this far in life and I am healthy.
I am blessed to have the love of my life: John who I am still blissfully in love with. When I am in work I can’t wait to get home to him. We have a roof over our head and food on our table and wine, too. We have and love Sammy.
I feel grateful when people show me love and express how I have positively affected them.
Ironically, I am also grateful to know some people don’t like me because it makes me realise I don’t rely on their appreciation to be a happy person, at all actually.
More importantly, I am very blessed to have the Mother I had who adored me dearly. She is the reason why I am such a wonderful person.
So yes, I am grateful and a very blessed human being. Happy Sunday everyone : )

Marlon/Marlife

Marlon/Marlife


Sunday, 6 October 2019

The Story Of Us published on GCN



Making a marriage work takes work. A relationship is also a partnership -  the beginning of thinking of yourselves as a member of a team team, not two separate individuals. Two long term married couples reveal to /Peter Dunne/ that, like anything else, the more you put into a marriage, the more you get back.
Photos provided by the couples. 

For Marlon Jimenez-Compton (he jokes by pronouncing the ‘double barrel’ as he says his second names) the love of a good dance almost got in the way of the love of a good man.
15 years ago in 2004, on a night out with friends, Marlon spotted John Compton across the dance floor in The George. There were immediate sparks. Not shy in the slightest, Marlon made a beeline for John and the pair got to chatting. Proving to be no shrinking violet himself, John asked if Marlon would like to leave with him. “And I said ‘no’ because I wanted to dance.

 So I went back to my friends, and my friends asked me ‘what happened?! Why did you walk away from him!? And I said, ‘he’s going home. And I want to dance.’”
That was almost that, but about a month later, the pair spotted each other on the online dating site Gaydar. They continued chatting, until, as Marlon shared, “On July 15, he invited me to his house for dinner.” Marlon remembers the date clearly, as “the next day was my birthday, July 16.” Clearly the dinner went well, as Marlon followed, “So now we celebrate both my birthday and our wedding anniversary, because we celebrated our civil partnership on July 15, 2011.”

Anyone who ever meets Marlon will learn two things very quickly – firstly how much he absolutely adores his husband John, and secondly, he really //really// believes being married is the best thing ever. Suffice to say, it was no shock when Marlon revealed it was him who had popped the question. They were in a restaurant called The Angler's Rest in Strawberry Beds. It had just been refurbished and John commented it would be a great spot for a wedding. Marlon replied, “so why don't we get married?” 
This was in the month of November. When civil partnership became available in January the following year, the couple where quick to take advantage, celebrating their ceremony that July. That wasn't the end though. When the equal marriage referendum made grá the law, the couple once again made their vows to each other.

So why is marriage so important to them?

Being practical for a moment, Marlon lists the important legal rights that come with being married, but follows “When we actually got married, I felt that there was a rebirth of the love. I felt a sense that we actually belong to each other now.” 

Marlon stresses something he believes is necessary before someone considers marriage - “You have to love yourself first. I know it's a cliché, but if you are unable to love yourself, you will not be able to love anybody else. Also, maintain your independence – not in a selfish way, but in the way that you have to be self aware – you are your own person, your partner is their own person. If you have that in mind you will be able to separate yourself from situations that you need to separate yourself from.”

So, is there one universal secret to a successful marriage? “Every marriage is different. Whatever is working in our marriage won't necessarily work in somebody else's marriage. Trust is important. Love. Respect. Communication is huge, in a marriage or even in any relationship.” 

Marlon offers the heartfelt advice - “Do not compare your union with somebody else's. Your union is yours. Enjoy how special it is. Enjoy how unique it is.”
15 years together obviously means 15 anniversaries. Is there any one in particular that stood out? “I think the fifth year was important. I remember going out to dinner and it struck me 'Wow, we made it this far.'” 

“We married twice. And here we are, 15 years later, we have a house, a dog and 11 fish.” 
The couple share a terrific sense of humour, and to anyone who sees them it is clear they truly enjoy each other’s company. Best of all, Marlon didn’t make have to make a choice - after all these years together, there’s still a lot of dancing, although most of it takes place in the kitchen rather than The George. 

Thank you to Peter Dunne, our editor, for such a great piece. 

Marlon/Marlife

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

Marlon’s catharsis over Trump

                          




Hey guys,

I am one of those who believes that when they feel something is bothering them, they must try to find the way to release those negative feelings.

So this video is my way to get rid of the negative feelings Donald Trump ignates in me hehehe - I hope you enjoy it or at least try to understand my catharsis' method.

Cheers

Marlon/Marlife

Thursday, 12 September 2019

When you get to talk about Marriage/Relationship


I was asked to participate in a project to talk about marriages/relationships. For a few seconds I thought about saying "No" because I don't consider myself an expert in the topic, but then I instantly said to myself "Hang on a second, you have been with the same person for 15 years and married to him for a while, so you might have one or two things to say about marriage/relationship". So I said "Yes". The project will be out quite soon.

As I don't know how the project is going to turn out based on what I genuienly said, I won't say what I exactly said, but I am going to share a few bullet points I took from my own reflection after the interview.

I do believe that in order to be able to love somebody, we must be able to love ourselves. What does this mean? It means to be self-aware of who we are. To accept ourselves as a whole and that includes not "liking" our imperfections.

When we truly love ourselves, we are not jealous of others, we don't envy others because we are so busy with ourselves that there is not time to look outwards, but inwards.

As a result...

We are going to able to love and accept our other half - even with their "imperfections". However, that acceptance should not be in detriment of who we are and how we feel. In other words, if somebody truly loves us, they will elevate us in a healthy way. When I say "healthy" I mean that they will never try to bring you down. EVER.

And this is why...

Chosing our partner speaks volumes of who we are. It says more about us (choice) than the partner themselves. This is why we should be careful when we complain to other people about our choice, that complain is a very poor projection of whowe are when it comes to our choices in life. Instead of complaining, why don't ask ourselves how can we together (as a couple) work this through? It is not easy, it is very challenging indeed but only you know your own relationship.

Which brings me to...

Stop compering your relationship to somebody elses'. We must make our relationship unique, special and relevant. Whatever works for you, works for you. It does not necesarly mean is going to work for somebody else. We should be busy investing in our own relationship rather than paying attention to others'. What is yours is yours so we should make it work if is worth it to do so.

Do not listen....

If as a couple you have an issue and REALLY need advice, do not go to someone who is single, or someone who is divorced or someone who can not sustain a relation or someone who is or has all of the above. If you need advice or need to talk to someone, try to chose wisely who to talk to, maybe talk to a professional, otherwise you are going to feel or end up worse. How can we get advise from someone who has not succeded in something we might be trying to succed to make it work?

Some key elements...

Communication is a massive element: We should be able to tell someone "I don't like that behaviour" or "I don't like what you said", in this way we are pointing out the "behaviour" or what it was "said" not the person because we still love them. Mind you, this one is VERY hard and it is still taking me forever to fully grasp it myself, because it is fucking hard.


Sex...

When it comes to sex, again, this is something that only you to should try to form and agree on. Sex is a very large spectrum that includes whatever you two have decided what it is. We, as a couple, should find whatever works for us, just us. When you have such a healthy view, you will understand that sex (whatever that is) is only one aspect of your relationship, not the relationship in itself. If you find whatever works for you, enjoy it for what it is.

Now it comes the romance...

Love is not perfect, but it is a powerful thing. Love is key to a successful realtionship. We should think of how much we love ourselves, in that way we should know how  able we are to love the person we have choshen as our other half.

If we love ourselves, we will understand love is good. Love keeps us alive. Love is the real reason why we are able to love others.

Cheers to love forever...

Marlon/Marlife







Sunday, 25 August 2019

Affecting your Mental Health: Bullshit or True?



It took me a lot of thinking and a couple of conversations with some people I consider strong, intelligent, open-minded and more importantly not jealous of others, to write this blog. Even though this is my own opinion, I wanted to support it well so I did my research and found some facts. And more importantly, I put all kind of emotions aside not to sound "too personal".

My research has raised in my mind a few questions.

As you might know, in the name of "protecting" your mental health, recently Instagram decided to carry out a test in 7 countries ONLY to hide the amount of likes posts receive. I wonder why is it just a test and also why is it only in 7 countries when according to the World Health Organization, mental health is a world wide problem?





What is the definition of Mental Health?

"It is defined as a stable of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community" WHO

So by knowing the definition we can have a clear idea of what mental illness or disorders are.

If we are not emotionally stable, that instability can be easily triggered regardless the platform we might be on online. When I use the word "triggered" is because the condition already exists.

A study conducted by The Royal Society for Public Health, called #StatusOfMind, has indicated that Instagram is the worst social media platform for young people's mental health. Facebook also is part of the list, and what I find interesting is that Instagram is part of Facebook, so why don't they hide the likes on Facebook too to protect your mental health?

Without trying to be sarcastic, I woudl like to ask this: If we are "concerned" and would like to "help" an alcoholic, would you advise them to drink beer rather than wine, as beer has less alcohol volume? Or would you advice a drug addict to take class B drugs than A?

What might be truth behind it - Business?

According to my research, globally there are 25 million  Instagram business accounts, however, only 2 million are advertising on the platform. This is a very low number in comparison to businesses advertsing on Facebook. So we can argue that the real idea behind "protecting" your mental health can be to encourage small businesses to advertise more.

Let's put it this way, who wants to go to a restaurant that has few likes on Instagram and doesn't sound popular? Or who wants to go to a disco that has cero or very little likes or who wants to click on an ad that has zero likes?

A bigger revelation: Mobile vs Laptops/Desktops

It is not a secret that mobile advertising is massive. We spend more time on our phone than on our laptops/desktops. A recent study found that on average, we spend 3 hours and 15 minutes - if not more - a day on our phones.

Instagram "good intentions" to protect your mental health by hiding the Likes is only on our mobile devices and not on our laptops/desktops - which I find AGAIN very interesting.

As you can see in the below screenshots, I can not see how many likes my latest post received on my mobile, however on my laptop is very visible it has received 27 little hearts (likes).

                                                            On my mobile






On my laptop



Love who you are and appeciate what you have


I consider myself a person who lives life with a very open mind. I am not and will never be negatively affected by the way people conduct themselves in life and this involves social media. However, my open mind tells me that not everybody is like me, and it is totally true. But if I can influence people positively because of the way I am, I am happy to do so.

I am very comfortable in my own skin. I have a very healthy view of who I am and what I have - which is the reason why I am not jealous or envious of other people, at all actually.

There are reasons for people to be who they are, or to look the way they do, or to have what they have, but those reasons do not have to do anything with you.

Do not compare yourself with anybody else. Be your own self. Be authentic and unique by using the space you have on earth. By looking for your real truth inwards not outwards. There is nobody like you, and you should appreciate that.

If you really get affected by how people conduct themselves online, stop, take a moment to think and reflect and ask yourself why, why am I allowing them to make me feel this way? Believe me, the answers might create wonders in you.

Lastly, try to enjoy being on social media regardless the amount of likes you might get. Remember you should value yourself more than having a little heart (like) given on Instagram.

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it the same way I enjoyed writing it.

Marlon/Marlife


Image source

                                                       









Wednesday, 24 July 2019

My Birthday message

                   


Hey guys,

Every year for my Birthday I give message to try to share joy and good vibes. So here I am sharing my 2019 Birthday message.

What I said came from my heart so I hope you enjoy it.

Cheers to life and to many years to come.

Marlon/Marlife

Monday, 8 July 2019

My Interview with Her.ie





"The way this country embraced me has been pivotal to me as a person."

Marlon Jimenez-Compton is an Advertising Sales and Account Manager with GCN. Originally from Venezuela, he has lived in Dublin for 16 years. He tells Her about coming to Ireland and how life has changed for him since then.
When I was younger, I wanted to change my sexual orientation but after a long process and going to therapy for three years, I ended up changing my mind.
I decided to accept my homosexuality. My therapist and I worked on my self-esteem because I needed to love myself even more and be strong to face the challenges I was going to face for being gay in a society like Venezuela.
Growing up there was quite tough. You feel judged and mocked for being gay and more so if you are a bit effeminate. There was and is an organised gay community but gays are still are very isolated, marginalised and very much on their own.
I arrived in Dublin on 9 June 2003 and it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. The way this country embraced me has been pivotal to me as a person. Ireland is my house and Dublin is my home.
The gay community was a bit smaller than now but it was amazing to me, considering my circumstances back in Venezuela.
Life for gay people has utterly changed since then - and I have hugely benefited from those changes.  I met my partner John Compton in The George 15 years ago. Back then the idea of same-sex couple getting married seemed like an unrealistic dream. Who would have thought that we as a couple one day were going to have a civil partnership? We did that in July 2011 and then when the same-sex marriage referendum passed, we got married in March 2016.
I feel very lucky to live in a country where gay rights are human rights and human rights are gay rights.
I decided to accept my homosexuality. My therapist and I worked on my self-esteem because I needed to love myself even more and be strong to face the challenges I was going to face for being gay in a society like Venezuela.
Growing up there was quite tough. You feel judged and mocked for being gay and more so if you are a bit effeminate. There was and is an organised gay community but gays are still are very isolated, marginalised and very much on their own.
I arrived in Dublin on 9 June 2003 and it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. The way this country embraced me has been pivotal to me as a person. Ireland is my house and Dublin is my home.
The gay community was a bit smaller than now but it was amazing to me, considering my circumstances back in Venezuela.
Life for gay people has utterly changed since then - and I have hugely benefited from those changes.  I met my partner John Compton in The George 15 years ago. Back then the idea of same-sex couple getting married seemed like an unrealistic dream. Who would have thought that we as a couple one day were going to have a civil partnership? We did that in July 2011 and then when the same-sex marriage referendum passed, we got married in March 2016.
I feel very lucky to live in a country where gay rights are human rights and human rights are gay rights.
pride
Pride is very important for me. I every year walk the parade and celebrate it in a big way. I celebrate being able to express myself as a gay man and feel liberated. This year’s celebration marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, which is a very important milestone in our worldwide community. I love Pride month.
I think we will always need Pride - it is like Christmas time for the queer community. It is the perfect opportunity to take a stand in terms of relevance and commitment. We have a voice which we can use throughout the year and we use it with more power throughout Pride month.
We are now more organised, we have legislations put in place to protect and promote our rights and by all means we should use them but I personally think Pride should remain as a celebration of how far we have come as a community and society.
Thanks to Her.ie for giving me this opportunity.
Marlon/Marlife
We are now more organised, we have legislations put in place to protect and promote our rights and by all means we should use them but I personally think Pride should remain as a celebration of how far we have come as a community and society.