My New Year's Message...

Well...for some people, the celebration is over. Some people don’t like New Years, however for the rest of us the celebration still continues because I do love New Years, therefore for me and others, the festive spirit is still lingering on.

2014 is nearly over, can you believe it?  We are just a few days away to welcome 2015 and as positive as I am, I  already have a good feeling it’s going to be a great year.

Yes…Positivity all the way!

Let’s be happy to be alive, let’s celebrate the fact that we have had good and not so good experiences. Let’s not regret anything; every single experience has a reason and a meaningful touch in our lives. Let’s not regret the mistakes we made, all those mistakes have helped to shape our character, personality and even our lives. Don’t forget we are the result of the experiences life has thrown at us.

Cheers to life…

To finish, I would like to say I hope you have had a great festive season so far & I hope you are already ready to welcome 2015.

I wish you the very best for the New Year. Don’t stop dreaming and yes, work hard to achieve all your goals. Remember that, yes, dreams do come true.

I wish you a torrential shower of Health, Love, Happiness and Prosperity, in that order.

From the bottom of my heart I wish you all a Very Happy New Year…

Sincerely

Marlon/Marlife

Thank you..!

The joys of writing...

Marlife is approaching the 12 thousand views.

My LinkedIn, I have published 10 articles so far which have had received a great response.

My Christmas message was featured by a group called " What inspires Me" with over 300 thousand followers.

Victoria has a Secret and When a 6 pack is just not enough, both were featured by a group called "Marketing & Advertising" with over 4 million followers.

God Geldof & Ebola featured by a group called "Social Impact" with over 900 thousand folowers.

The psychological stress caused by typos was featured by a group called "Productivity" with over 100 thousand followers.

Are we over-posting? Says who and why? was featured by a group called "Leadership & Management" with over 9 million followers.

I am slowly building up a community on LinkedIn - over 200 followers so far.

And I have become Guest blogger for a Digital company called CASTLE33.

I am over the moon by the reaction my writing has received and I am already boiling few ideas for 2015...

For now I would like to say a HUGE THANK YOU for your unconditional support.

Marlon/Marlife

My Christmas Message

Image by David Park davidgpark@mac.com

Just a few days to Christmas Wooohooo! Like some of you, I can't wait for my favourite day of the year to arrive. I am literally counting down every single second for it.

I feel inside I'm full of glitters, the excitement is beyond me, and I feel my heart is shinning like a mutli- color ball on a Christmas tree. And I would love to share all my enthusiasm with every single one of you.

When I was a little boy, I believed in the magic of this festive season. I believed in Santa, he never failed to bring me my santi present. I still carry those beautiful memories with me. Those memories will stay with me forever because they allow me to bring back my inner-child every year. I feel privileged to be able to experience that feeling.

I would like to invite you all, at some point in the next few days, to take a moment to think about and reflect on the great emotional things you gained this year which  is nearly ending. Take a moment to pay a attention to all those nice things that surround you, in particular your family, friends, acquaintances and co-workers. 

And most of all, I would like you to take a moment to think of you, and you will realise that you have been way too busy and have forgotten how valuable you are - as a person.

To finish, I would like to share this with you...

Image by David Park davidgpark@mac.com
                

Growing up, I learnt that the Christmas Spirit is the awakening of all the beautiful things we posses inside. Those nice things we posses and, again, we tend to forget about because we are living in a such a hurry world. Let that spirit to embrace you in such a loving way and - believe - you will experience a great feeling, not only for the month of December, but also for the rest of your life.

Have a great time over the 
festive season. I wish all your dreams can come true.
 I hope Santi is good to you. Have fabulous time...

Have a Very Happy Christmas together with all your loved ones...

From the bottom of my heart...

Marlon/Marlife

You know Christmas is just around the corner when...

I am one of the million of people who loves Christmas so much. If you love Christmas I am sure like me you're counting down the days and can't wait to hug the Christmas spirit.

The beautiful time is not far away now, you know Christmas is just around the corner when...

It's getting colder and you need to start wearing thick clothes. When it's only 4:30 in the afternoon and starts getting dark.

When you're at home with the fire on and the living room feels so cosy. 

When you're watching TV and those lovely Xmas ads come on the screen and you feel the magic. When you're in City Center and walk through Grafton Street and all the decorations are on display.

When you are already thinking of all your favorite Xmas movies.

When you try to book a table in a restaurant, and they're already booked out coming up to the festive season.

When you feel emotional for no reason, just for the only reason that Christmas makes your heart go softer and you feel you love your life even more.

When you feel there is sparks inside you that illuminates not only your face, but also your smile. When you inner child is jumping up and down from the excitement of having a Santa present.

You feel Christmas is just around the corner when you feel you are able to love everybody and feel everybody loves you.

If you can not wait for the most magical time of the year, neither can I...But I am very excited to see that Christmas is just around the corner.

With Christmas Love...

Marlon/Marlife

Their present was a frog...

There are certain childhood experiences that when we think back and reflect on, we realised they were the very first milestones to define our character and personality for adulthood. Those formative years are crucial because they shape who we are as people.

The episode I am about to tell you can be seen as funny, looking back now it was, but it was one of those basic learnings in my life that lead me to be the person I am today.

I think I was 7 or 8 years-old, my circle of friends was mainly girls who I would play girlie activities with. One of our favorites was “the party”, we would pretend that it was somebody’s birthday and would have a party for that person - real or fictitious. We had so much fun.

My mother had an argument with one of my girlfriend’s mum’s and they weren’t talking. A few days after, my girlfriend, who could be a little bitch at times, organised a party and, because our mums weren’t talking, she didn’t invite me. I found out through someone else that a party was on and I was very upset.

My mum saw me and asked why was I upset? I told her and she said (a lesson she gave me) “my argument with her mother shouldn’t affect your friendship”, I said nearly crying “yeah but she didn’t invite me to the party and everybody is going”. My mum gave me a hug to console me, and suggest that I should send them a present to show them that I wasn’t affected by not being invited.

The idea came to my mind straight away. I said to my mum “yes I’m gonna send them a present and it’s gonna  be a frog”, she didn’t approve or disapprove it, she just smiled, which for me was her approval.

There was a jungle full of frogs near the hood we lived in and my mum and I went in to find a frog, and I said to her “the bigger the better” so we found a huge one. We put the live frog in a box, got wrapping paper and a nice red lace to go with it. I asked one of my girlfriends who was going to the party to bring the present along with her. She took the box and the frog was jumping inside, she asked “What’s inside, why is it moving” and I replied “please just bring it with you, give it to her and you’ll find out and tell her it is from me”.

We lived across the road from each other, our houses were made of wood and metal so there were cracks in the wood I could see through, I crouched down and peeped through to see their reaction when they opened their present which created complete havoc.

There was screams and shouts and tantrums and everybody running around like headless chickens. They were terrified, jumping up and down as the frog was hopping about in its own terror in between their legs. I was rolling on the floor with laughter with the sweet smell of revenge.

As I mentioned at the beginning, this incident was a huge landmark in building my character in relation to self-reliance. Making my way throughout adulthood I have learnt that I am the only one I should rely on - both emotionally and psychologically. I have been upset many times, yes, but I have learnt how to move on quickly and never put myself in the same situation again that would compromise my emotional well-being.

Now I understand how crucial this event was in my life and I am grateful to my mum for helping me find the biggest frog in the marsh, where I found my emotional prince hehehe

Marlon/Marlife

Body Dysmorphic Disorder or Renee Zellweger..

Celebrities, yes, we love and hate them, and yes we need them. If we didn't, I would not be writing a blog about actress Renee Zellweger who is, at the moment, receiving so much media attention due to the release of the sequel of the franchise Bridget Jone's Diary - Briget Jones's Baby. In November, 2014 she was the topic of millions of articles both off and online. She caused havoc in the celebrity world when she stepped out at a Hollywood event looking like anyone, but herself. The Renee with the nearly-closed-eyes we all used to know no longer exists.

Speculations have poured from every corner of the world. She’s done this and that and the other. From plastic surgery to botox, from face-lift to God knows what else, but there’s only one thing that has come up to the surface and it’s the possibility that she might be suffering from what in Psychiatry is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

Her acting career has been very successful. Oscar-winning actress who has had the ability to entertain us in so many great movies like “Jerry Maguire”, “You, me and Irene”, “Chicago”, “Another year”, “Cold Mountain” for which she received the Academy Award, and the famously acclaimed “Bridget Jones’ Diary” for which - interesting enough - she very well-managed to transform herself to play the role in such a profound way that when we saw the movie, we couldn't perceive a slightly resemblance of an actress called Renee Zellweger. She literally became Bridget Jones in every possible single way.

Maybe that acting role equipped her to play her real-life role considering what we saw in 2014. She will never be again the Renee we used to see with that particular face - in my opinion, beautiful and unique. Some people have been wondering about what’s the matter with someone - celebrity or not - that has an essential inner need to look like someone else? In our simplistic world and in pure English we can call them “Fucked up”. But the Psychological and Psychiatric fields have a better, more sophisticated term/diagnose called Dysmorphic Body Disorder, but What is this all about?

The Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders states that “BDD is defined by DSM-IV-TR (a handbook for health professionals) as a condition marked by excessive preoccupation with an imaginary or minor defect in a facial feature or localized part of the body. The diagnostic criteria specify that the condition must be sufficiently severe to cause a decline in the patient’s social, occupational or educational functioning. The most common cause of this decline is the time lost in obsessing about the “defect”.

Interesting, the word “dysmorphic” comes from two Greek words, “dys” that means “bad” or “ugly”, and “morphos” that means “shape” or “form”.

Description

“BDD is characterised by an unusually exaggerated degree of worry or concern about a specific part of the face or body, rather than the general size or shape of the body…As many as 50% of patients with BDD undergo plastic surgery to correct their perceived physical defects”.

Causes

The encyclopedia explains two major causes, neurological and psychological, but I will only concentrate on the psychological one: “Important factor in the development of BDD is the influence of the mass media in the developed countries, particularly the role of advertising in spreading images of physically “perfect” men and women. Impressionable children and adolescents absorb the message that anything short of physical perfection is unacceptable. They may then develop distorted perceptions of their own faces and bodies”.

Taking into consideration the professional information, we can say that the issue is far more complex that we might think, and more so when Renee herself in an interview said, back then, said she was "now happy and more content" - and we wonder “Why? because you don’t look like you used to”.

What it is even more concerning, it’s the fact that no matter how many plastic surgery they may undergo, they’ll always have a distorted image perception of themselves. What they see is just “ugly”.

My message: When you see yourself in the mirror, love what you see, love and embrace yourself either if you’re skinny, with an extra pounds, white, black, ginger, blond, short, tall or whatever. You’re beautiful, full stop... and always remember that it could be worse, if we were Renee Zellweeger.

Marlon/Marlife

Having Sex & Making Love - Part 2

 I carried out an informal research to write this blog. Basically, I spoke to some friends and acquaintances
and people in general. I spoke to a few people online and I even joined on-line chats in relation to the topic. The findings were interesting and once again, I have corroborated that human sexuality is like a big box of smarties…varying in colors.

I’m going to break down the samples by calling them “Team Pedro, the banger” and “Team Mario, the lover”

A good number of the girls belong to “Team Pedro” expressed that they certainly love a good banging, but they would like to have now-and-then a “Mario”.

Most of the girls belong to “Team Mario” expressed that they were happy with the love-making, and were not bothered with having a “Pedro”. Most of them declared that if “Mario” becomes “Pedro” once in a while, they’ll enjoy it, but it was not a big deal.

To the question, why? “Team Mario” felt loved, “Team Pedro” felt loved, but a bit “used”.

“Team Mario” expressed having an orgasm most of the time. “Team Pedro” expressed their orgasms were not all the time, with Pedro having a quite tendency of ejaculate a bit quick…sometimes.

HUGE FINDING: 69 is very important for both teams, so come on boy, you have get down there more often. It’s always great to have a succulent meal for two.

To the question what would be the perfect example of having sex? Both teams came with the same example “A one night stand”. You go there, get pounded, go home and not feelings involved at all.

Interesting enough, experts in the subject have a communal opinion to differentiate one act from the other and, even more interesting, people in general have too similar opinions. I’m going to amalgamate my findings from both sources and these are my conclusions.

Difference between having sex and making love:

It seems clear that when we’re making love we are in one of the most vulnerable state of being a person can be.  Some believe that making love is about putting into the act all our feelings and emotions in order to please our partner. The more we please them, the more we please ourselves.

They believe that having sex is a selfish act. Mainly physical and the emotions involved are very limited.

Some believe that even if we are in love, and we have a quickie in the morning just before going to work, that’s considered “only sex”. But in fairness, we all love having a quickie to set us up for the day. Balls empty and fannies satisfy.

Making love represents emotional rewarding. Having sex represents biological needs. When we make love, we ejaculate, when we have sex, we cum.

Some think that we can have sex with our beloved partner, but we cannot make love to a person we don’t love. Making love is pure bliss, pure ecstasy, we want to become one with the one we love.

Another interesting belief, Kama Sutra was written for love makers and not for sex bangers. In love-making, foreplay lasts longer. When having sex, men can’t wait to lob it in.

After making love, usually couple tell each other how amazing the experience was. After having sex, we just roll over and fall asleep.

In summary

It seems to be obvious that the making love experience is way too much gratifying from the emotional and psychological point of you. It seems to give us an emotional reward which is invaluable.

I personally think that it is important for us people to recognize what we like and want. It is important to have a clear definition within us to differentiate between the two experiences. Having this clear understanding will allow us to enjoy either or and even both.

So next time you’re going to have hanky panky, always remember to try to enjoy if Pedro bangs you senseless or if Mario tirelessly makes love to you.

So cheers to having sex and/or making love. Let's enjoy the process!

Marlon/Marlife

Having Sex & Making Love - Part1

One of my girlfriends in Venezuela who, I wouldn’t say she was a slut, but she was constantly very busy when it

came to men, always had interesting encounters and stories in relation to her  experiences. Some of her sexual adventures were hilarious and even when they were not, we always managed to have a laugh out of them. We confided in each other and she would tell me everything and explain it with every single details. Our chats were always rather colorful.

One time she was seeing two men at the same time, Pedro & Mario (fictitious names), having the time of her life, to say it bluntly - she was spreading her legs wide open a lot, more than birds would be spreading their wings in order to fly. But things got a bit complicated for her, not because either of the guys found out – actually, to this date neither of them know she was seeing them simultaneously.

Ironically, these complications were purely in relation to sex. Two nice guys, both very good looking who had two completely different sexual act approaches. “Very pleasurable” as she described them, but in some ways quite confusing as to which one to prefer. The two of them were special and as she, again, described it “delicious” for different reasons.

Going into a bit of more details, she confessed to me “Pedro is the very best definition of sex. He is pure flesh. He throws me around the room and fucks me up against the wall. Talks dirty, uses his fingers and tongue. He pounds me hard and bangs me senseless, making me scream and asking for more. He treats me like a bitch, like a piece of meat and I love it. He makes me sweat and gives me palpitations, feeling I’m going to have a heart attack. We have done it all around the house, in every single corner. When we do 69, it's like having a super special dinner for two. Then last night, he picked me up from work and we were doing it in the car while he was driving, and for our advantage every single traffic light in red. I was screaming. He makes me feel I’m a woman, makes me feel sexy and desired” By the way, I must mention that in Venezuela, because it’s so hot, most of the cars have tinted windows to reflect the sun.

Listening carefully to her vivid description, I went “all that sounds amazing” and she said “Yes, but Mario, oh

my god, he is another story” and as I was getting my ears well-prepared to hear, I said “go on”.

“Mario is pure love and passion, he is very loving, sweet and considerate. He slowly undresses me and places his tongue in every corner of my body making me feel I’m on a cloud, in heaven.  He too knows how to use his fingers and tongue, but in a very passionate way. He’s delicate to enter me, pounds me slowly, gently and asks me in nearly every pound if I am enjoying it. One time, the climax was so high that he was softly telling me how much he loves being inside me, that I started crying, pleasure was way too much.  Last week he picked me up from work and brought me to his apartment, on the way he told me he has a surprise for me. When we got there, he has candles lit, dinner ready and a bottle of champers ready and some strawberries, too. After dinner, he slowly undressed me, brought me to bed – to my surprise, the bed was covered in red petals. Out of the blue, he got out a bottle of honey and sweetened my entire body with it, then he proceeded to rub  the strawberries with honey on my clit and all and oh my god, I just moaned and moaned, losing my breathing to the extent that I thought I was going have another heart attack. He made me cum twice – It was like water-floods. It was heavenly”

After carefully listening to her description, I said “Well you seem to be having a great time with the two of them. It sounds pleasurably amazing to me” and she goes “Yes, but I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what I want” and I said honestly  “Honey I don’t think the problem are Pedro or Mario, I think the problem is you. You don’t seem to know what you want emotionally or sexually and that’s where the real issue lies. Try to find yourself and what you want, because you’ll never ever have Pedro and Mario in one man. That will never happen so get your act together”

Today, Pedro and Mario are happily married and have become fathers. And I bet they’re still banging headboards or making love to their wives in their own special ways. My friend, in the other hand, is still single and still trying to figure out what she wants. Ironic!

I suppose she never figured out if she liked the red raw pounding or the passion of being made love to.

In part 2, I will discuss the findings of my informal research and we will see the difference of having sex and making love.

Marlon/Marlife

They asked me to teach...

When I was a little boy, my favorite game was me being a teacher. I am hoping I might end up doing that in a professional capacity, and more exciting…in English.

One of my lectures from (DBS) - Dublin Business School, Robert Farrell, whose passion for teaching was rather infectious, recently contacted me to say that he had recommended me to teach in (DFEI) -  Dun Laoghaire Further Education Institute. When I received his email, I couldn’t believe it, but I was and still am humbly touched. I said to myself “Wow”!

When we spoke on the phone, I clearly explained that I do not have a degree in teaching or a license that would allow me to do so, however, he said he thought that those requirements were not needed, but that I would have to corroborate this with the Supervisor in charge in the college. So I asked, what is it that I need then? And he said “Just you, be yourself as you always are. You have the confidence, you are over-enthusiastic. When you get into something you do it with passion and you are a good people’s person”

When I heard him saying all this, I can sincerely tell you guys that I was deeply touched. I can honestly say that sometimes I have to admit there’s nothing about me that would represent humbleness, but this time I honestly was and still am humbly touched, because sometimes we just don’t know how things can be turned around by “the way we are”. And on this occasion, I think that’s where my humbleness comes from.

I contacted the Supervisor of the college in question, and effectively he said that I was highly recommended by my lecturer from DBS, and also said that he would employ me to teach the module considering how well-respected my lecturer is and therefore he would always take his recommendations into consideration.

The module to teach is called “Social Networking in the Digital Age” – something as you all know, I’m very passionate about and love it so much. It was a new module, teaching the basic information and they needed 8 people minimum to go ahead with it.

Unfortunately, in the end, they didn’t get the numbers and the module could not go ahead. But there is the possibility that it might happen next year, and the Supervisor said that if I was still interested in it, it will be my gig.

The moral of the story & the core of my message – which are the reasons why I wanted to share this with you all is: When you are doing something, either if it’s work, studies, hobbies, projects or whatever it may be, try to do it with passion, love and commitment. Always try to do a little bit more of what is expected from you, and also no matter how serious the subject matter may be, always try to integrate your own personality into it, because that’s your unique, indelible personal stamp.

It has paid off for me, on so many levels, but I never thought that something of this nature -teaching- would come out from my efforts put into college and on this particular subject. I always tried to give a little bit more in my research, presentations, and interventions in class. I always try to give a personal meaning to what I was being thought no matter how technically or academically it may have been. And one of the fruitful results of my personal approach to my academy adventure was that I was considered to teach.

Marlon/Marlife

The Fabulous Dylan Bradshaw Hair Salon...

Screenshot of the new website

First of all, after reading this blog, I invite you to check Dylan's incredible, interactive, high fashion website www.dylanbradshaw.com and you will understand more what I was talking about.

 It has been described as the “Rolls Royce of the hairdressing industry” and I totally agree. It was very recently voted “The Best Salon” in Ireland by the Irish Times and again, I totally agree. It is a place that deserves those titles and more, because it really is not only a beautiful, classic and elegant place, but also a place where you go – women or men – and leave feeling great and looking amazing.

The db Salon Customer Service is of a very high standard. You know when people say “It’s all about you” and yes it is, when you go there for either  your hair, make-up or nails, you are in a place where you are very welcome, they make you feel extra special and you’re spoiled in every possible way, so yes… it’s all about you – The dear valued customer.


Dylan: The man behind the brand

The db salon was funded by Dylan himself when he was only 27. It is now located in the heart of the city centre, on the vibrant South William street. It’s a three story building impregnated with an elegant, relaxed and we could say – magical surroundings.

When you are in there, you get a feeling that you are in a place that it’s unique and exudes a particular, inviting personality. Let’s put it this way, the place is characterised by a charm that can be perceived as elusive, but – believe me – after a few minutes in there, that charm will hug you to the extent that you will feel you don’t want to leave and when you do, you get invaded by a genuine feeling of going back.

A lot has been written about the place and the man himself, Dylan Bradshaw. The place has been the subject matter of reviews – both off and on-line, for magazines, newspapers, TV programmes, brochures…etc. ..etc. etc.

 If you Google it, the information you will find is prolific and when you read, you will immediately get enchanted and hooked, to say the least.

There is one particular aspect I would like to outline about this whole “fabulousness”, which is Dylan’s two most remarkable women in his life: First of all his Mother, Linda and of course his wife, Charlotte. The two great women behind this extraordinary man.

When his Mother planted in his head the seed  of becoming a hairdresser, little did she knew back then – he was only 15 – that she was giving him one of the most paramount advices a mother could give to a son – both personal and professionally. Little she knew that that seed would have flourished in such a fruitful way as it did. In summary, he started from the very bottom, slowly but surely making his way up right to the top until create and sustain a name for him in a very competitive industry. Linda you are the one to be “blamed” for putting so many women in the position to be beautified by your son, and I’d like to have the courtesy to, in the name of those women, salute you and say Thank you so much!

Charlotte and Dylan

Charlotte: the woman behind the man and the brand

Then here it comes the wife, Charlotte, his business partner, but more importantly his partner in life and companion in love, and mother of those three beautiful children: Oscar, Ethan and Dexter, who beautifully complement their union and who already are showing  good signs of perpetuating the Bradshaw dynasty.  Charlotte how do you do it? Full-time mum, full-time worker and still looking amazing. I salute you too and I’d like to publicly express my admiration for you. You are someone I admire.

I would like to take this opportunity to also express my admiration and respect for the db team.  A team that is driven by excellence. A team that would do anything beyond their power to make customers feel they are in real nurturing hands, and providing a service which signature is passion. Guys you’re all amazing, your work is admirable. Every single one of you is special for different reasons. I sincerely salute you and from the bottom of my heart, I must say I already miss you all!

Last thing, I have embarked on a new horizon, trying to expand my career by embracing my ambitions. I am sad to say Good bye to my co-workers, clients and everyone I had the privilege to meet. I am sad to say goodbye  to the hairdressing industry, but that sadness will turn into happiness when, one day, I would look back to reflect on my working experience and to realise that  my last experience belong to the best Hair Salon in Ireland. I will look back and a sense of pride will suffuse my face and deep down in me I would proclaim “Wow I one day was part of the fabulous Dylan Bradshaw Hair Salon. What a privilege!”

With Love...

Marlon/Marlife

Good Bye Hairdressing Industry...

After obtaining my Irish citizenship, I was officially allowed to work in Ireland. Customer Service was always  my focus, because I love working with and for people. I landed my first job as a Receptionist in a Hair Salon called Essensuals, on South Anne Street, which was part of Tony & Guy Ireland. Essensuals eventually moved from South Ann Street to South Williams street. I think I was there 2 or 3 years.  I met so many great people including the clients  - and so many memories of my fellow co-workers.

From Essensuals I moved to Toni  & Guy Clarendon street where I worked for 3 years. My now good friend, Sharon Mc Donnell, became a franchisee and opened a Salon in Sandymount. She offered the opportunity to work for her and I moved to the Sandymount salon where again I worked for 3 years. While working in Sandymount, I started feeling that a change was needed. I was feeling that I had given to that Industry all I had to, and I was not getting satisfaction from what I was doing, even though I tried my best to keep myself amused.

I started looking for a job, but in the meantime I enrolled myself in 2 courses in Dublin Business School, one in Psychology which I loved and the other one called “Online Marketing & Digital Strategies” which I loved. I was trying to move away from the Hairdressing Industry altogether and I knew it was going to be hard, but I unsuccessfully tried and I got rejections from everywhere. I felt frustrated, but I tried that frustration not to get in the way of my ambitions and aspirations.

An opportunity came up in the Dylan Bradshaw salon. I was quite reluctant to take it, but I decided there would not be harm to give the industry a last shot and after some consideration, I accepted it. I started working in Dylan’s the 1^st of November 2012.

Working in the Hairdressing Industry was a good experience I will always treasure kindly. I learnt great things that I will never forget, but more importantly and I am very happy to see that I gained new friends from both clients and co-workers, People that in some ways touched my life and left an indelible mark on me. That’s my main gain and I will be eternally grateful for it.

I am very excited about my new career future. Very excited about my new path in life and I will try my very best to succeed and be an asset to my new company.

Hairdressing industry you have been good to, but it’s time to move on so I’m a little bit sad to say “Good Bye Hairdressing Industry”!

Marlon/Marlife

He said he hated me, but I did not give a FCUK...

I must start this blog by quoting this statement that is like my mantra “The problem it’s not what is out there,

but the way we perceive it”

In one of my jobs in Venezuela I wanted to get up the ladder but I didn’t. A promotion opened up, I applied for it, but I didn’t get it and there was never any reason why. One day I approached the HR manager and I opened my heart to her and I expressed my suspicions. She said she would try to find out the reasons and she did. I was not surprised when she said “Yes, Marlon, the reason Mr X doesn’t want you in that position is because you’re openly gay”, but because she found out off the records I couldn’t do anything about it.

It turns out that Mr X, who was co-owner of the business, was having a secretly gay affair with one of the employees. Even though he thought it was “clandestine”, it was an obvious situation to everybody, it was a big scandal. Anyway, then time passed and someone close to Mr X told me plainly “Marlon he can’t stand you, he hates you.” which I immediately responded “I don’t think he hates me”.  Nobody hates another human being for the sake of it. “I think he hates himself, he hates the fact that I can openly express myself as a gay man and he cannot and he will never be able to do so”  Before I continue, I have to say, this was years ago and that guy who hated me, he’s still hating himself because he still has not come out of the closet, he has to be pitied.

I would like to outline 2 things on this particular story: Jealousy and Projection.

When jealousy invades us, it can be a horrible feeling. A horrible and destructive feeling that could be in detriment of our own psychological and emotional well-being. When we are jealous about someone or something, we are only portraying a discomfort feeling about ourselves, a feeling that deep down is bothering us because we cannot understand why or how that person - who we are jealous of – is the way they are or has whatever they do.  A feeling that makes us aware of we will never be or feel like them, unless we try to approach it in a different, healthy way. The issue is not the person it’s the emotion or feeling we have about them.

A “healthy jealousy” feeling – if such thing exists – is about aspiring to be like a particular person (which is called admiration). Yes, of course we could aspire to be like them, because we admire, respect and acknowledge them, which is fine and that’s good, but when those feelings turn into an internal struggle, or not understanding the issue clearly so it becomes about us not them, we must recognise that “It’s my problem not them. Simple!

Psychological projection “is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others” or “it’s a defence mechanism that involves taking our own unacceptable qualities or feelings and ascribing them to other people” For example: An adulterous husband thinking his wife is cheating on him or someone who proclaims hating happy people (They hate themselves because they can not be happy) or When someone is constantly slagging people, trying to put them down. They’re easily projecting their own weak and low self-esteem. That's the only unhealthy pattern they know to feel "OK".

In order to recognise these traits in us, we should try to ask ourselves questions like “Why do I feel like this about that particular person? Why that person’s way of being is bothering me in such way that I must try to find a way to put them down?  Why do we have to compare ourselves to others? In order to get rid of jealousy,  we should try to understand that there’s reasons for people to be the way they are or to have whatever they have or to look the way they do, those reasons do not have to do anything with us as individuals at all. We can see the face, but we do not know the story behind it.

When someone is trying to criticize us, a good way to not allow those critics to affect us, it’s to focus our attention in that person’s own circumstances. For example, someone who is always single or a divorcee pretending to criticise the relationship you’re in. Or someone who gets annoyed with you if you’re late when they’re always late themselves.

Human interactions can be very complex, we have to relate to each other, we have to survive in our everyday life and the only way to have personal and emotional success is by recognising in us those great feelings that make us unique; those feelings that will feed our own self-worth; those feelings in us that make us a valuable and good person. If we try to look inwards to appreciate who we are and have, we will avoid the dangerous trait of comparing ourselves to other, and we will clearly understand that we are unique in very different ways and special for so many particular reasons.

And always – if you can - remember my mantra “It’s not what’s out there, but the way we perceive it”

Marlon/Marlife

She has 4 lips & her name is Vagina...

Due to the relative success of my blogs called “Is it really the BIGGER, the BETTER?” Part 1 & 2, I

decided that it was the girls’ turn and to celebrate in a light and funny way- that special anatomical female area, I came to the conclusion of writing this article.

It can be said that after the brain, the female vagina is the most powerful part of the human body. If you have a brain and a vagina, you have half the battle won in the “war of sexes” because one is a source of intelligence and the other one is not only a source of pleasure, but also has reproductive commitments – which is crucial for the human existence. Don’t forget that our very first holiday into this world was through the vagina canal. How lucky we are!

She has 4 lips (labia), the outer labia which are larger and fattier and the labia minora which consists of 2 layers of skin between or covered by the outer labia. Those lips – which are not Angelina’s – protect the clitoris and the opening of the urethra.  The labia or lips minora is composed of sensory nerves that have erectile tissues which therefore is stimulated during intercourse, they tend to swell and vibrate – like a rabbit dildo - when women are erected or in colloquial jargon – horny.

She is loved by many people: heterosexual men, bisexual men and women also homosexual women

(lesbians), so we can express WOW…she is rather popular.  She is also quite diverse – like a Benetton ad – since the size, shape, length and coloration of the inner labia can extensively vary from woman to woman. That coloration can go from light pink in some women to brownish black in others (hum, it sounds like a vagina with a natural tan).  That could be the reason why women are so unique.

If you are into women, you wouldn’t like to see a woman angry, but you would love to see an angry vagina (horny), she gets swollen and moist which is exactly what she needs to be ready to be entered by her attacker. Also be aware when she is hungry she gets angry too, so you might take advantage of it. She can be bloody – and I’m not referring  to that time of the month,  but to the fact that  when aroused the labia majora swells due to increased blood flow to the area to make her angrier, hungrier, in other words,  hornier. But she is also able to calm down because she is clever, and after an orgasm or when a girl is not sexually stimulated anymore, the labia’s slowly go back to their calm state (unaroused). This whole process of not being angry any more lasts around 1 hour, unless you get her angry again.

Sometimes for whatever reason it may be, we tend to not pay attention to the fact that it’s very important for us humans, male and female, to know our bodies and their amazing anatomical functions they perform. Sometimes or most of the time, we find “vulgar” or even “offensive” to talk about something that it is so part of us. We are too moralistic or too reserved to try to face the fact that we, as humans, are a profound amalgamation of biological components that differentiate us from the Animal Kingdom. It is actually embarrassing to see or realise that animals would have a “better understanding” of how their bodies function.

There is nothing wrong or to be ashamed of, to know our bodies and to talk about it. It is important for many reasons to have a basic understanding of whom and what we are and that includes our bodies. In other words, there is nothing wrong to talk about vaginas.

Vaginas are precious, very precious indeed. Even the beauty industry is concerned about the front house of the vagina. And those concerns have become some real for both – women and men – to the extent that it is important to have a presentable vagina. That’s the reason why we have Brazilian wax, Californian wax, all sorts of waxing’s, even we have the vagisel. It comes with no surprise that now we have the rock vagina, yes there is, when it’s pierced.

When it comes to health, there is hundreds and hundreds of doctors – Gynaecologist- specialised in that area. So this tells us that vaginas have to be very well-looked after.

So girls don’t underestimate what you have between your legs because she is precious. Always remember the many great reason she lives there! Guys next time you have that vagina in front of you, you must make double the effort to appreciate what it offers to you. You should try to understand that she must be looked after well, very well even. If you don’t do a good job, remember she has four lips, she might talk back and put you in an awkward position.

Moral of the story is… Vaginas are precious for different reasons, if you don’t know your friend, you can start now! Get a mirror and have a look or google it! Have a view at those four lips…they might even say hello! And start knowing how and what the Vagina is for?

Marlon/Marlife

"When a wedding dress - Angelina Jolie's - sends a powerful message"

We don’t need to be a psychologist to know that the role a mother plays in their children is crucial, huge and supremely important. However, psychologists have outlined - as a result of their exhausting researches - that the crucial years in our lives are between 0 to 5 years old, strongly insisting that they’re our most powerful formative ones.

Whatever happens when we are children, it’s a big deal because they’re our first learnings, therefore those experiences we are exposed to will certainly shape our lives forever both emotionally and psychologically. A hug when you are scared or just to demonstrate you how much they love you, a kiss to make you feel good or to just simply say “Good night”. They’re simple yet compelling gestures that stay with us forever in a very profound way.

When it comes to a celebrity – like Angelina Jolie is – those moments can get lost in the way or even forgotten because you have such a busy schedule, and work can easily get you distracted and you don’t intentionally mean it, it just happens. It can happen to just “simple, normal” people. You know, between work and the crèche and trying to be a good mum and a good wife and be presentable for your man etc. It just happens. Mothers have too much on their plate. They are the reason why I will always respect and admire them. Just because of that.

Angelina Jolie, either you hate or love her, managed to grow and mature in such a great way that whatever she does, whatever she put her hands on, gets noticed, sends a good message and as a results of it indicates how much power her presence has, she has used that power to help others in so many ways: When she adopted her first son from Cambodia, she brought attention to that country – I bet you some people didn’t even know that country existed. When she decided to give birth in Namibia, she not only brought attention to the Maternity Hospital, but also it has been reported that the tourism in that country increased as a result of it. Her achievements as an Ambassador for the United Nations are outstanding.

 Then she decided to publicly announce she went for a double mastectomy to remove breast cancer cells that could potentially threat her health and as a result her life. So brave and inspiring, in her own words she said “I can tell my children that they will not lose me to breast cancer”

So, as a mother, she has her own worries and concerns, she said she did it for them and she set the message

to every single woman around the world to get tested just to make sure you’re OK.

Then it comes the wedding dress…the powerful message to her own children and even the world…This is why every mummy will relate to that.

As a child, stop there for a second and imagine, what would have gone through your head if your mum is getting married and her wedding dress is covered of the drawings you made when you were a child? My own answer is, IT IS SUPREMELY POWERFUL!

She has been regarded as one the most beautiful women in the world. Of course, not short of fame and fortune. I bet you she could’ve had the best choices in the world. I can only imagine all the big designers keeping their fingers crossed to be selected by her. For some reason she chose Versace, but under her own well-laid-down conditions: “My wedding dress must represent my family, my children and the love I treasure for them” POWERFULL.

For a woman in her position, it was not about the fashion at all, it was about – again – the message she could send out and in this case was her own children. A message that could be described as “You are so important to me that I am carrying your drawings on my wedding dress” or “Do not feel left out, you are so important that you are part of this” or “Mammy loves you so much, that even though I’m getting married, it’s all about you” or “No matter what colour you are or what position you have in the family, there’s no pecking order, your drawing is on my wedding dress” or “you are so important for me/us that you have to have an active participation on my wedding day “. For a child to witness and be part of something rather remarkable like that, something that your mammy decided to do for you - just for you- it is psychologically huge, powerful and very compelling.

Me, coming from a mother who was, in her own way, as emotionally powerful as you are, I totally get and understand what your true and loving intentions were. And I know many women and mothers will totally understand the loving core of your message.

Angie I love you…

Marlon/Marlife

Is it really the BIGGER, the BETTER? PART 2

Some myths and facts…

Again, because of our obsession about penis sizes, we tend to think or maybe hope – that a man with big feet, hands or nose is the equivalent of having a big juicy dick, but the reality is that there is absolutely no scientific medical evidence that this is true. There is no correlation between the size of our penis and other part of the bodies. Sorry if you think this is a spoiler for you : (

When it comes to statistics, yes African men come on top and Asian men on bottom, but it has been documented that climate can play a bit part in our penises when it comes to erection. Penises tend to shrink in cold weather, so erect they might reach the double of their potential. However, in hot weather, penises tend to hang low, trying to find release from the suffocation of the hot weather.

There are some studies that suggest that you don’t necessarily have to be black to have a big one, there’s plenty of Caucasian men who are very well-endowed and also some Asians.

In order to have an accurate size of a dick, it should be measured when it’s erect, not when it’s flaccid.

They grow from the age of 5 to 17, so there is a good span for penis’ growth.

The size of our penises does not have anything to do with reproduction. Let’s put it this way, by the 2013 the Asian population was 4.3 billion people. They might be small, but they are very fertile.

While studies and research may vary across reputable sources, the general consensus is that the average in human penis is 5.1”-5.9” inches in length when fully erect.

Some studies has suggested that women, when asked, prefer width more so than length. Remember that the G-spot lady is 3 inches into the vagina channel, so it makes sense.

HUGE fact and HUGE myth, the size of our penis does not have to do anything at all with how good in bed we are. So sex  - which is not necessarily just penetration - can be just as good if you are “small” or “big”

The list of myths and facts goes on and one and one, but let’s put all that bullshit aside and let’s have a more human consideration. I think that what is really more important is who we are as humans and persons. If we are big or small, that does not add any to our treasure as persons. If we are talking about sex or making love, why do we only have to rely on how fabulous are cocks are – small or big. How about using other parts of our bodies that can be a great source of pleasure like tongues and fingers?

When engaging in those intimate moments, why don’t we think more of how we make that person feel in that vulnerable moment very extra special? Very enjoyable sex is a function of intimacy, a connection between 2 people and the many other intangible elements that make sex really meaningful and more rewarding.

YUMMY

As sexual partners our goal should be more in relation to be caring, sharing, good listeners, good talkers and seeing our brains as being the most important sexual organ we should rely on. There is nothing more powerful to provide us with a very powerful erection than love, real love. That’s the best Viagra ever and it

will never fails to make your willie go up : )

Marlon/Marlife

he equivalent of having a big juice dick

Is it really the BIGGER, the BETTER? PART 1

Small or big, she looks delighted

I must start this blog by quoting a statement I once heard “Whoever says that size doesn’t matter has a small one” and I went in my head “Hmmm interesting”. But then it became clear to me that if one tries to be empathetic with all those who have a “small one”, some people will say “ah you’re being nice to them because you have a big one” and I thought “but what’s big and what’s small”? It was then and there when an idea was planted in my head and  flourished  to do some research and write this blog  called “Is it really the bigger, the better”?

For decades, we’ve been living in a society that tells us through different channels and platforms, that big represents strength, dominance and power in any shape or form. The Guinness Book of Records is full of adjectives such as “the biggest” “the longest” “the thickest” “the lengthiest” and so on, they might not necessarily be referring to the male’s below the waist anatomy, but we have certainly grown up with an “official reference” listening to all those adjectives that make us believe as men should have a big one or (female) having a partner who has a big one.

In order for me to have an objective approach to this subject matter – obviously as a gay man I am affected by those references I just mentioned above – it is important to try to have a well-informed opinion, which can be hard because at the end of the day I am a gay human being trying to compartmentalise such information to have a basic understanding of how our bodies work. As they say “education is the clue and information is power”. So let’s have a look at some facts:

Anatomically, the female G-spot is located approximately 3 inches into the vagina channel, which means that

if a man has let’s say a 7 inches penis, he will clearly be passing such important area in his female partner, and I’m sure that G-spot girl would hate to be ignored by a 7 inch lad in such a despicable  way. Passing by and ignoring her just like that it's a NO NO NO.

When it comes to us men, something quite similar can be referred to our prostate gland, but I won’t go into that this time.

As part of my informal research, I spoke to a few women who have an opinion on this, but the reaction was mixed, some girls concluded that it was important, some that it wasn’t, but I must admit that most of the girls stated that it was important, that yes size does matter. Some of them even said "Small willie...no no no"

I found very interesting that when I spoke to a few male friends and acquaintances who I know have been nicely touched by nature in that particular area, the consensus was that they do not see themselves in that way…”big”. They would regard others bigger than themselves. At the beginning I thought that they were being “humble or unassuming” but later I discovered that the reason is because the angle we look our own cocks is different to how we see others, it’s hard to say to ourselves “oh yeah it’s a big one”, because the angle does not provide us with a proper view as let’s say when you look yourself in the mirror full frontal with a full erection, to be honest how often do we men do that? Or how often do we do it and admit it?

Talking about comparing, we tend to compare our sizes with others’, so watching porn will not be in any way a “healthy” approach to form an opinion about our “small or big cocks”. We must remember that one of the requirements to be a porn performer is having a penis bigger than the average. So watching porn is not a good source if you’d like to gauge the size of yours. The porn industry is packed by big ones.  By the way, I’d like to clarify that I have never been a porn performer; I learnt all this from my research : )

One of my female friends had a boyfriend that was so big that she felt battered by baseball bat and after performing their sexual activities; she said she walked like John Wayne and she loved it. The relationship did not last because she said he never went down on her which she adores. Another friend said that your man was so big, she could not enjoy it at all and they split up. I heard the story of someone that her casual partner was so small, she could not perform fellatio on him because she felt it was like sucking off his little finger…Dreadful, the poor man. Another girl had a partner that was what she described as “OK”, but there were only certain sexual positions they could practice and both of them described their reality as “uncomfortable”. Are they still together? No! Another friend had partner who had a good 9 inches, but he was so bad in bed, that she ended up cheating on him and eventually they split up, too. I know yet another girl, whose partner is quite small, but she refers to him as “an amazing lover in bed” and they’re still together.

So it’s obvious that when it comes to penis size there is a lot of controversy attached to it (I’m not talking about a strap on) so  the big or small concept may become so subjective that it is not easy to have a definite clarification of what’s big or small. So I will encourage everybody through this writing to try to appreciate what they have between their legs and be happy to see that their appendage whatever size it is can go up and down.

Next week I will write about the statistics, sizes by countries and continents and also I will speak about the

eye-opening reality that the Asian population is huge but they are not, so size does not matter when it comes to the mechanics, so is it really the bigger the better?

Marlon/Marlife