Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Don't give up on love - Part 2

They say that when we stop looking for it, we will find it, which can be true. However,  I still believe we all should have the disposition to welcome someone into our lives, a new friend, a new acquaintance and of course, a new person who can potentially be our partner.

There are so many reasons why not to give up on love, and I’d like to outline a few.

First of all, giving up on love means you might be giving up being in love with yourself, and as I mentioned on Part 1 – the usual cliché, I know - in order to love someone, we must be in love with ourselves, FIRST.

Don’t give up on love because people already love you. If you pay attention and make a list of all the people in your life who truly care for you, you will be surprised.

If you give up on love, you won’t be able to focus on the love you already have. When we truly pay attention to the love we are surrounded by, life seems to capture a different bright colour. Yes, life is busy and gets in the way, making us to forget that good feelings come in all sorts of forms. It’s like when you work in a beautiful place, you go there every day and are too busy to pay attention to the beautiful surroundings. Then one day, for some reason you stop, look around and your instant thought is “this place is rather nice”.

Don’t give up on love because you see your friends having dates, getting married, getting laid, are popular on dating web sites, their lives do not have to do anything with yours. If you compare yourself with someone else’s “luck in life”, you might feel you are “unlucky” – which is not a healthy feeling at all. Try to live your own life based on what it’s important and relevant to YOU!

A HUGE mistake we tend to make is when we focus on the “bad” things our date or partners have, we should instead concentrate on those qualities that make that person  special and unique. We will never have the perfect one, and even though relationships of any kind can be challenging, there is enormous emotional, psychological and personal reward attached to try to overcome those challenges together. Let’s put it this way, think about the “bad” qualities you possess yourself, right? Well…you are still yourself and I bet you deep down, you are able to love yourself. We should apply this when it comes to our other half.

Don’t give up on love because no one is good enough for you. If no one is good for us, we should evaluate our choices in order to try to find the reasons what’s “wrong” with us that keep making the same mistake. The issue is not the person we chose, but the actual reasons of our choices.

When it comes to practicality, do not give up on love because of your own lack of honesty when presenting yourself. This comes to the dating-site users. Be real, be honest, be you. Don’t be using a dated picture of fifteen years ago, unless you currently look amazingly well as fifteen years ago. If we are going to be rejected, so be it, but for the right reasons, not because you were pretending to be something or someone you are not.

If you face rejection for the right reasons, there is a lesson to be learnt in that. The strength and maturity we obtain from being open about how we think and feel is priceless. Don’t feel you have wasted your time, it is always exciting to embark on the adventure of meeting someone new to try to stablish a human connection with.

I would like to finish my message by saying I am not trying to play cupid, or trying to sort people’s love life out. I am not a love expert, I am not an expert in any field. I am just a person whose life has been shaped by good and bad experiences.  Sometimes I think we are only kidding ourselves if we say “I’m giving up on love” BULSHIT! We were born to love and to be loved. To give up on love, would mean we are giving up about all the good things – on a daily basis - life has to offer.

Opportunities will be knocking on your heart doors, all you need to have is the genuine disposition to open those doors to welcome them. Don’t be ashamed, you are not needy or clingy or desperate, you are only human, and we humans are capable of love, capable of enjoying that wonderful feeling which is the vessel that feeds our blood to keep our heart pumping.

So, do not give up on love!


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