Monday, 5 September 2016

On a date and he farted

When I first arrived in Dublin, I felt like in a candy shop with the vast selection of men . I allowed the novelty to embrace me in every possible way, and more so when it came to being openly gay.

At the time, technology was not as advanced as it is now, therefore there were no iPhones or Grindr. We had and still have - two websites and I was an avid user of Gaydar because it was the most popular one for cruising purposes here in Dublin.

One afternoon, I was online, as you do when you are single and have certain biological needs - I was up for it, and I came across a profile of a hot guy. His face was nice, but his body, OMG, exactly what I needed get the picture.

Long story short, we got chatting and arranged to meet in his apartment in city centre. After exchanging a few pictures, I asked him that I would make it all the way from Blackrock to his place with the only one "condition" if he opened the door for me, topless and just wearing jeans. So he did.

I got there and he opened the door, I went in my mind "WOW". We sat down and started the flirting foreplay. At some point, I noticed he got very comfortable on the sofa we were sitting on and lift up one of his legs and all of a sudden, this big, loud fart comes out.

I could not believe it and I asked "Did you just fart"? He goes, very normal, "Yes, why, is that OK" and as I am about to answer, the smell was so eggy, that I nearly puked, and I said "No, of course, it's not OK". To make things worse, even more worst than the smell, he says "In Venezuela, people don't fart?" and I went "I beg your pardon! of course we do, but we don't do it in front of people and if by any chance we had to do it, we would use the toilet, hoping that is not as eggy as the one you just had"

He laughed and I said "I don't think it's funny" and I left.

In my defense, in this occasion it was me the victim of cultural barriers. It took me a while to understand that in some countries farting is as normal as mmmmm...imagine the sound and the smell.

Looking back now it is funny, but it was not funny at the time, and more so considering how smelly it was.

Moral of the story: On a date, not matter which country you are from, never fart. OK!


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