As you might know by now, I am always encouraging you - both off and online - to be yourself and to never apologise for who you are. Once you are not causing any harm to anyone, you do not need to feel you have to explain to people the reasons for you to be...YOU!
What I have forgotten to tell you was that like most things in life, being yourself comes with a price. Ironically as it might sound, it is totally true. I am pretty sure after reading this post, you will realise that we must rely on our internal resources in order to keep going in life when facing certain human interactions.
The price to pay So yes, you can be yourself, however, you have to be ready for some people not to like you. Some people might find difficult to relate to you and, as a result, would try to find reasons to dislike you. They would try to sidetrack you by giving you labels, or criticise you, or even invest time in talking to others about why you are the way you are, or why you live your life the way you do. Should you care? No, you shouldn't because - this is something I learned when in therapy years ago called Projection.
Whatever they say or feel about you, it is not about you at all, it's about them. It is a vivid projection of the way they feel about themselves. Simple as.
The day my therapist taught me this realisation, I have lived by it and it has helped me immensely as a person.
In this very short video Whoopi Goldberg pretty much summarizes my message
Some advantages One of the many advantages of being disliked is that it will give you the opportunity to revalidate who you are. You will learn how to nurture your sense of dignity. You will also learn to appreciate even more those who do like and love you. You will learn to be more in touch with your own self. You will appreciate your life and yourself even more. You will learn how to look inwards and not outwards - which is crucial. You will realise you are not jealous of or threatened by anyone. And all of these is the result of having a good and solid self-esteem.
On a personal level I am blessed by the emotional legacy my mother left me. I am grateful to be able to live my own life they way I do. I feel liberated when I am able to say I love myself and I am a supremely happy person. And if you wonder why? Because being happy is the only way I know to honor my mother's memory So together let's spread some love and please do not stop being yourself.
We got Sammy nearly eight years ago. Honestly, when John brought up the idea of getting a dog, I was very reluctant because it represents a responsibility I was not willing to take, but in the end, John convinced me and we got him.
When he first came to the house, he was an adorable little puppy, harmless with a face I just wanted to kiss. However, in the back of my mind, I was still thinking "this is going to be a responsibility which will at times be expensive.' But you know, I just went along with it.
Now writing this, in retrospect, back then I was not considering the emotional attachment that it would happen as it has. John had a dog before - Jake - but when I met him - Jake - was not in the house anymore. So John already experienced what it is like to be a dog owner. I have never been emotionally attached to a dog, let alone to any animal at all.
Sammy has changed all this.
Sammy the lunatic...
11 June 2009
When we first got him, he was very placid, quiet, he wouldn't move. John now thinks he must've been drugged because, oh my god, 3 days later he became a lunatic. This little puppy, not adorable anymore, was wrecking the house, running around like a lunatic, going upstairs and taking control not only of the house space but also over us. He was like a Gremlin, and all we kept saying was 'WTF'.
He would go up to the top of the stairs which was the only place he'd be quiet. We would let him go up thinking that we were doing something 'right' as he would give us some sort of tranquility, but it turned out that in 'dog's psychological field' - which I must admit I didn't and still don't know anything, we were giving him power by allowing do so. When we were told this, I said 'that's it, there is no way an animal is going to dictate the way we are going to live in our house.'
On top of the stairs looking down on us: 'Feck you'
Again on top of the stair in pure bliss
A few days later, we sent him to a Dog's training program for a few days because he was uncontrollable. He would jump on people. He would not settle at all, well after all he was living a proper dog's life. Whatever that means! One time John brought him to the park, let him off the lead, he ran as quick as he could and demolished and ate all the food of a group of young girls who were having a picnic. The mother of one of the girls was going ballistic at John, like crazy.
John ran back to the house as fast as he could with Sammy. Total drama, drama, drama...
Here comes our savior, Helen, Sammy's best friend EVER...
One of the things Sammy would do, in the middle of his craziness, was running away from the house every time he could, for whatever small reason we would have to open the door. Quicker than a blink of an eye, he would run out and it would be very hard to get him back into the house. One evening this happened, we opened the door for something and he ran out straight away and never came back that night.
John got in the car and went to look for him for hours. A friend joined the search for Sammy. I stayed in the house hoping that if he'd come back somebody would be there to greet him. A few hours later, John came back with his heart broken as he couldn't find him. As brave as I wanted to be, deep down in me I thought we have lost him and I was a little bit sad.
We went to bed hopeless thinking 'we have lost him'. I said to John 'Don't worry, don't be sad, we will get another dog' and John said 'Please don't give up so quickly.'
In the morning, John got up and went straight to our local kennel. Went in and asked if a dog with Sammy particular characteristics had been brought in. They said 'No' He came back out, heartbroken, and as he was about to enter the car, another car just pulled in with a little puppy showing the face in the window and it happened to be it was Sammy. Oh my god the excitement of it all. Sammy and John reunited again. And that's how Helen came into our lives and mostly Sammy's. When he ran out from the house the night before, he was wandering the streets and happened to end up where Helen lives - which is not far from us - and Helen's mum was arriving home with a pizza, he followed her and started begging on their front door. They looked after him throughout the night. Needless to say, Helen is a dog lover, someone whose knowledge about dogs is so prolific that we should call her "The Irish Dog-whisperer". We are so grateful to her because to this date she is very much involved in his rearing. We would be lost without her, like he once was, if we didn't have Helen's help.
Sammy, the star of our Social Media
On social media he gets far more attention than John and I do. Every time we have posted something up about him and/or with him, the reaction is always good. Like for example:
I recently was trying to make a video to celebrate John with one of my favorite George Michael's song. Sammy got in the middle and 'ruined' the moment. Hilarious. I posted the video on Facebook & got over 2000 views. Video below.
Or when once John was trying to feed him. The scene was funny. I posted it on Facebook and he got over 800 views - which is great for a dog.
Or when he was going for a walk with Helen and he entered Helen's the car in true Sammy style. Posted the video on Facebook and got over 500 views.
I recently posted a Dogback time on Facebook and he gets over 100 reactions, plus 41 comments.
So as you can see, he is a little star. We love Sammy, we really do. As crazy as he can be sometimes, he keeps us entertained and busy and as we know we won't have children, we are happy to invest our energy in him.
First of all, I would like to say Sorry! because Marlife has been so quiet! But...
I am very happy to be back showing Marlife's traffic for the last four days. Even though Marlife has been quiet, I would like to say I am very happy to see the traffic of the last four days because it shows how loyal you are: I can see you have been coming back clicking to check if I have published something new.
Marlife, like you, was also on holidays hehehehe
I am happy to see Ireland is still my number audience, however, I am amused to see how Russia has kept its second position for nearly two months. Thank you Russia!
Thank you to my new entries: Indonesia & Finland. A big hello to the Finish & Indonesian people. I really appreciate your unconditional support.
I would like to say...
When I have said to you before that "you are my biggest inspiration", it has been because that's the actual truth. You keep me inspired, you keep me motivated and you are always giving me the opportunity to open new doors to create content for you, just for you, so Thank you!
2017 will not be different. I will be here sharing my happiness, joy, enthusiasm, sense of humor, craziness and all those amazing things I possess as a person with you, with all of you.
Last thing, let's make 2017 the year of happiness and let's try to do it together.
