Sunday, 29 January 2017
The Price Of Being Yourself
As you might know by now, I am always encouraging you - both off and online - to be yourself and to never apologise for who you are. Once you are not causing any harm to anyone, you do not need to feel you have to explain to people the reasons for you to be...YOU!
What I have forgotten to tell you was that like most things in life, being yourself comes with a price. Ironically as it might sound, it is totally true. I am pretty sure after reading this post, you will realise that we must rely on our internal resources in order to keep going in life when facing certain human interactions.
The price to pay
So yes, you can be yourself, however, you have to be ready for some people not to like you. Some people might find difficult to relate to you and, as a result, would try to find reasons to dislike you. They would try to sidetrack you by giving you labels, or criticise you, or even invest time in talking to others about why you are the way you are, or why you live your life the way you do. Should you care? No, you shouldn't because - this is something I learned when in therapy years ago called Projection.
Whatever they say or feel about you, it is not about you at all, it's about them. It is a vivid projection of the way they feel about themselves. Simple as.
The day my therapist taught me this realisation, I have lived by it and it has helped me immensely as a person.
In this very short video Whoopi Goldberg pretty much summarizes my message
One of the many advantages of being disliked is that it will give you the opportunity to revalidate who you are. You will learn how to nurture your sense of dignity. You will also learn to appreciate even more those who do like and love you. You will learn to be more in touch with your own self. You will appreciate your life and yourself even more. You will learn how to look inwards and not outwards - which is crucial. You will realise you are not jealous of or threatened by anyone. And all of these is the result of having a good and solid self-esteem.
On a personal level
I am blessed by the emotional legacy my mother left me. I am grateful to be able to live my own life they way I do. I feel liberated when I am able to say I love myself and I am a supremely happy person. And if you wonder why?
Because being happy is the only way I know to honor my mother's memory
So together let's spread some love and please do not stop being yourself.
Thanks for reading!