Thursday, 28 February 2019
Even though the banner I have used for this blog can be perceived as funny, this topic for me is not funny at all. And I am sure it is not funny for a lot of people.
I find really hard to accept with have to die and, to be totally honest, I am very terrified by the reality that one day we have to die. I keep wonder why? why? why? But it is hard to find an answer, at least for me.
My beloved mother passed away when I was 11 so, yes, I am HUGELY affected by death, hugely. When you are a happy little boy, like I was, and your mother suddenly dies, that is a very sad, painful, hard reality and that happened to me. So yes, I still cry her death even though I am now 46 : (
Now in adulthood, I have gone through the pain again and again as some beloved ones have passed away in the last 3 years or so. Now more recently, being confronted by the death of a beloved, good friend, Alli Macdonnell, I am still devastated, broken inside, really, and trying to fathom something I was not, we were not, expecting at all.
This blog is inspired by her very tragic passing. I can not understand why? why? why? So so many unanswered questions.
When I said the last "Good bye" to her, I travelled back to when I had to say "Good bye" for the last time to my own mother, and it was very very sad. Since then, I can not stop thinking about mortality. I am here struggling with the idea, or the fact, that one day we have to die.
Death sucks, Mortality sucks and I am not ready for it.
With a broken heart...